Has anyone else found their comfort zone shrink as they got older?
Your safe place, the barrier between I can do this and I’m really not sure I can?! As a child i threw myself into everything and yes as a teenager I’m sure I had my fair share of insecurities and worries but rarely would I say no to something because of them.
As a young adult stepping out of my comfort zone meant deciding to follow my dreams and audition for dance school, To move to London, then to Newquay and then to Tenerife! To fly alone, to go on a bungee swing, to sunbathe topless, to sing and dance in front of so many people and wear some truly hideous/amusing things – oh and buy a dance school at 23years old. I never really thought about any of them for long! I was one of those people that said yes and thought about it later-that jumped at opportunities and I don’t remember feeling that scared (though I’m sure at the time I was).
Nowadays stepping out of my comfort zone is going to a new playgroup alone, wearing a dress, talking to new people, going on a bus, calling a Chinese takeaway or man the day I decided to step out of my house with a nose ring rather than a stud was a little too overwhelming.
I think so much about what other people will think of me. Whether people will judge me and a lot about whether I’ll fail or disappoint people.
I’ve been doing a lot of sole searching recently and I am certainly not out of this feeling yet nor am I sure I ever will be- though I have heard a lot of people say you get to an age where you just don’t care what others think anymore. I’ve been trying to take care of myself better, speak more kindly of myself, try and be more positive and motivated, use my time more constructively and try and work out why I think everyone else deserves more than me.
It’s Mental Health Awareness Week this week and I know this is a hot topic as I now see I am certainly not alone! After having P I was diagnosed with Postnatal Depression and Anxiety (not many people know this so I’m stepping out of my comfort zone once more) and have been having a variety of counselling for the last year. I am pretty sure having two children, running a business, loosing my driving licence and life at that time just tipped me over an edge I had been teetering on for a while but although I felt embarrassed it was good to finally Acknowledge it and do something! I have always been a doer and couldn’t understand why all of a sudden I felt like I couldn’t even leave my house and was failing massively!
I have done online, face to face and deeper counselling sessions over the last year and after my meeting this week it seems I’m starting to come out the other end and they think I can start coming to the end of my sessions (but can always go back if necessary). I have had someone to talk to, to help me understand where my feelings have come from and give me ways to deal with them.
I believe Mental Health is something that people still don’t want to talk about completely openly-including me! (This post is making me feel very nervous and I’m still debating pressing publish). I have loved seeing on Instagram recently the amount of people that have struggled in the same way as me! People that look to me like they have their shit together when I feel like I’m dropping all of the plates!
Honestly the thing that has helped me most is speaking more, talking to my husband, to a few close friends, my counsellor & realising I’m not loosing my mind and that there are ways for me to feel more ‘me’ again and I’m getting there. Whenever I feel like I can’t I now remind myself that ‘Actually I Can’.
I’m so grateful for what I have. When I think back to what I wanted from life it was marriage, kids and to run my own dance school-I have that, at the age of 35 I have everything I ever wanted!! Now I want to get myself to a point where I want to live life to the full, push through these barriers, past my comfort zone and be happy!
If you feel you need to talk to anyone please please do and Healthy Minds are great!!