I am a little late with my ordinary moments post this week as to be honest I was struggling with what to write about. My life feels like one big blur at the minute.
I’m in limbo with only a few weeks left till baby arrives and wanting to nest and switch off, not having the finances or the energy to do as much as I’d like, still having to work both on the admin and the teaching side of my business, wanting to write and read more blogs and my head is just sooooo full of ideas and yet the time and energy exudes me.
Then I saw an Instagram post by Hello Poppet and her words hit me.
It was their anniversary and she put some words out there that hit me like a brick and I knew what my ordinary moments post should be about.
Me and B have been a couple for over 10 years, married for over 5
and have ‘almost’ got two children together.
LB is 3.5yrs and our bump ‘Plum’ is due in a matter of weeks.
When I met B I was 23 and he was 29yrs old, he was back living with his parents near to me after a relationship had broken down and left him homeless. I am pretty sure if we hadn’t have met when we did, he’d have moved back into London and I’d have probably moved abroad again to perform some more and we’d have missed out on all of this.
All the amazing yet ordinary moments that our family life has brought.
He was completely different to every other guy i had dated and thought were ‘the one’.
I remember asking my dad 3 days before our wedding,
while having a very drunken father daughter lunch date at the Crazy Bear,
whether B was the type of guy he thought I’d marry.
‘No, but I have never seen anyone love you like that or that i trust would look after you like he does’.
That was it, I have never known anyone that allowed me to be me-completely.
No matter how much that might have meant we spent less time together than every other couple we know. To the point where people have said to us that they could never have a relationship like us as I worked crazy unsociable hours before we had LB. We have been told by friends to give each other ultimatums over varying behaviours/habits and each time we’ve laughed. We have accepted each other fully (though of course there are things that bug us) . And here we are still standing strong!
B has been my rock and my support through hard times. He has told me like it is but allowed me to make my own choices. He has hung back at times and watched me suffer and then helped me pick up the pieces, because he knew i wasn’t going to listen to him.
He has been with me throughout some fantastic adventures, holidays (unfortunately not quite as many as we’d both like), new businesses, drunken nights, parenthood, fun days out, and he is the first person I want to tell about everything.
We are also very different and sometimes we hardly spend anytime together at all and this is what I’ve noticed recently and this is what Hello Poppets post struck with me the most.
We both live for our family and LB is our main focus and now this new baby.
It has meant that at times I have felt like we have been loosing each other.
Most evenings once we’ve got through dinner, bath, bed for LB, we sit in separate rooms either trying to get work done, me going to bed early, watching something different on the TV and I think probably wanting our own space to get our heads around this next chapter but avoiding actually discussing it all.
We are both excited and scared about how its all going to change and it means we have just gone into our own little bubbles.
I think its so easy to just get into a routine where you pass responsibility and the buck to each other throughout the days, weeks, months and forget to actually enjoy each other and realise that that other person is the reason you are who you are today and are so happy with everything you’ve got – even when your head can sometimes go into the ‘grass is greener on the other side’ mode.
B thinks I’m never happy!
He thinks i always want the next thing and is pretty sure I’m already thinking about baby no 3 before I’ve even got no 2 out. He’s wondering what I’m going to want next and worrying that he’s not going to be able to give it to me. B is a continual realist and I am the dreamer. He always tells me how happy he is with his lot. He says Yes he may like what other people have sometimes, but never wishes he was anywhere else. Me however, i’m always wishing we could afford more, spend more time as family, that we went out more, saw friends more etc. However whenever I dig deep i realise that actually my favourite times are us all snuggled in bed or on the sofa watching a film, playing in the garden together, cooking and eating as a family and sitting chatting.
He is my rock my best friend and the person i would choose over and over again and I just have to remember to remind him of that every now and again.
This morning I rushed off to take LB to Preschool and forgot to give B a kiss.
We have always given kisses to say hello, goodbye and goodnight (though I have noticed recently with so much going on they have started to creep out of our routine – though we always ensure we give them to LB) and when i got back B had gone to work.
It made me a little sad to think that I’d not said goodbye and have a good day to him.
So I messaged him the kiss emoji and said sorry i missed you, have a good day and i love you. 5 minutes later as i was emptying the dishwasher he knocks on the back door, gives me a kiss and heads off to work leaving me with the biggest smile on my face.
The little things, the ordinary moments….the moments we all live for!
He made my day!
I’m linking up with Katie over at MummyDaddyMe for this weeks #OrdinaryMoments.
Thanks for Reading x