Excitement and Fear

With Baby No 2 due in 8 weeks time, its taking up more and more of my thinking time.  Until now its been easy to forget I am pregnant,
or I just kept thinking ‘oh I have loads of time’.

Now neither of those things are true.
I am obviously pregnant with a big bump to prove it, daily discomfort and reminders
and really time is flying so I’ve spent more time processing it all.

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5 THINGS I’M EXCITED ABOUT

  1. Having our baby in our arms and seeing what plum looks like after imagining for so long.
  2. The possibility of having a little girl-though this could be dangerous on my bank balance.
  3. Seeing how LB is as a big brother.  He has been so cute both with my bump and with a friends newborn.
  4. Having a newborn again -the cuddles, the baby smell, the being needed for everything (i think I’m looking forward to this) and the crazy love you have for your child.
  5. Having the opportunity to blame my complete craziness and disorganisation on baby brain-HA!

5 THINGS I’M SCARED ABOUT

  1. The birth-Obviously!! After an emergency Caesarian last time the whole idea of a VBAC and actually ‘giving birth’ is more scary than it was the first time round bizarrely.
  2. The possibility that I’ve completely forgotten what to do with a newborn.  Seriously the feeding and winding and how they are supposed to sleep and ARGH!
  3. There are risk factors with Gestational diabetes and although I am trying really hard to eat correctly, keep my blood sugar under control and do everything I am told, those possibilities keep playing on my mind.
  4. Being a mum of two-seriously how do women do it with more.  Sometimes I wonder how i’ve coped with one and i seriously have no idea how I’m going to do it with two.
  5. That LB is going to feel pushed out and neglected.

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I think I’ve been feeling a real mix of emotions recently, bouncing between so excited and ready (well mentally not physically-we haven’t got any baby bits ready yet) and being a complete nervous wreck, wondering how the hell this is all possible and how I’m going to get through it all.  The simply mention of feeling my moving tummy or cutting the cord freaks B out, so god knows whats going through his mind.  He apparently would rather deal with it when it happens rather than things about it in advance!

Well with anywhere between 6-8 weeks to wait now I’m sure its going to whizz by.
With one child already I don’t really have the time to chill out in preparation so the days fly by and we still have so much to do to the house to get ready for another baby, thats going to fill the little time we do have.

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You know what though when the hard part is over and plum is finally here,
I have no doubt they will just fit in to our family perfectly and I’ll be wondering what on earth I’ve been worrying about!

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