I saw this beautiful quote on Facebook, I’m really not sure where it has come from but it hit me hard. People really are what make the world go round. Sharing experiences and memories are so much more important than material things, though we all obviously like a treat every now and again!
For so long I have plodded along in my little bubble getting stuff done. Not always fully appreciating everything and the effect other people have on me. I’ve always had friends, but for quite a few years I’ve either been too busy with my dance school or with LB to fully appreciate those I have around me.
Ok sometimes you just want to be alone (like right now as i write this). I’m a little later than planned (its tuesday morning) but i have dropped LB off at preschool for 3 hrs and B is off at work and i’m feeling a little bit more peaceful. This morning was a little bit hectic and LB has been driving me up the wall with some horrible threenager behaviour, but now I have my iced coffee and my laptop and my rather gorgeous garden and i’m taking a breathe to appreciate people.
I have just spent the week with some of my favourite people. Me and LB went to Wales in Half Term with my dad, stepmum, stepnan, little sister, nephew and niece. My sister went off to spain with a friend and B unfortunately had to work but we had a wonderful time and shared plenty of photos with those that couldn’t be there. We relaxed (a bit), we chatted, we made memories and i spent more time with my dad than i think i have since i was a teenager.
Since becoming a mum i have noticed my friendships have changed. We all change as we get older and becoming a parent is a big change. It doesn’t mean that you are no longer friends with people, just that your priorities in life are slightly different and its hard to get out of your little bubble sometimes. In the last 3 years i have made some wonderful friends through our kids. 3 lovely ladies especially via our postnatal group and although we try to see each other weekly this may not always happen, especially now all the kids are at preschool and most of us are on the next child or pregnant. They have been here for me through those times when i didn’t know whether i was coming or going, to let me know i wasn’t completely bonkers or alone. I have also found this through blogging. I have found so many bloggers too, that have helped me through those moments where i have just felt like a bad mum.
To see that sometimes mums have it together and sometimes we don’t is refreshing.
I have also caught up with old school friends that have kids and made new friends along the way (i find this bit a little scary and hold back a little) but coffee is booked with a new friend tomorrow, so here goes putting myself out there a bit more.
My mum, nan and auntie have rallied around now i’m not working during the day too. They generally come round for some lunch on a friday and spend some time with me and Little B. I find the adult conversation great, as being more of a stay at home mum now who teaches kids in the evening I am struggling a little to feel like a woman. I’m finding that its very easy to get cross and wound up as i feel like i’m not giving as much-i mean really who likes cleaning the house and doing the washing everyday? This blog gives me a little bit of a release from feeling useless and my job is wonderful but I have noticed in just 7 weeks I have lost myself a little bit. Though funnily enough have found myself in other ways. I have felt more peaceful in myself. I understand more what I like to do, have slowed down a lot and feel really glad I can take and pick up LB from preschool and not rely on grandparents so heavily.
Having people you care about and who care about you in your life is so important. I can go months without speaking to people unless they contact me and thats something i really want to put a stop too. I’m trying to find this new identity (of not being a crazy workaholic) and sitting in my own little bubble is going to make this harder. Im getting scared about being a mother of two when i wonder how i cope with one somedays and having people around me will make this transition easier. I find it very easy to get lost in day to day stuff and my job takes me away from family time enough, i worry that i don’t have the time to see people as well.
I need to give my mindset a bit of a juggle. I am definitely a thinker more than a doer, as an Aries that’s quite surprising. Procrastination is a speciality of mine! I think this has changed over the years though, as I’ve definitely become more cautious (or a big scaredy cat in my eyes) I was more adventurous 10 years ago but at the same time probably more secure in myself now!
Wow I’ve just clocked how much I’m overthinking and I’m pretty sure contradicting myself-lol!
Anyway I just wanted to think about those ordinary moments.
Those times when you smile because you’ve received a text from a friend, the giggles on FaceTime this morning with my mum, auntie and grandparents as they cruise around the med or my cousin who calls from Australia every week , the Facebook messages making plans to meet up and those days out with loved ones chatting away, while the kids run riot and you feel at peace because you are able to just sit back and be you!
It’s refreshing and revitalising and is something that should be experienced as much as possible. I need to pop my bubble and get out there making more of an effort to make this experience more frequent.
I’m linking up with Katie at MummyDaddyMe for the Ordinary Moments.